“It’s the most wonderful time of the year”, and no one wants to spend it away from their children. This sadly can’t be avoided for separated parents. With Fenwick’s revealing their window imminently, Christmas is definitely upon us, meaning it’s time to think about Christmas contact arrangements if you haven’t already…
What’s the legal position?
Firstly, there is no legal ‘requirement’ governing either parent’s time with their child, and the focus is instead on what is best for the child. The law gives no preference to one parent or a set arrangement. If you disagree, you can therefore ask the court to make a decision, and a Judge will then make a binding order in those terms. This places the decision of what is best for your child in the hands of a stranger, who will have wide discretion, but also the benefit of experience in such matters.
Should I make a court application?
Sometimes it is unavoidable, but by nature court pits parties against each other and can destroy years of goodwill. There are few things worse than spending late-December at hearings, and I would caution against triggering this unless necessary. You are now unlikely to resolve matters in court before Christmas in any event as there is currently a 12-week wait for a hearing. A well-publicised case last year made clear applications over small issues which can be resolved elsewhere are discouraged.
What works best?
‘Best’ is unique to each family, with communication and co-operation key.
Like it or not, in having children you commit to a lifetime of co-parenting, even if you separate. Consider option such as:
A. Alternating Christmas/Boxing Day;
B. Agree one takes Christmas Day, and one Boxing Day (or another day);
C. Sharing Christmas Day.
Remember, this needn’t be negative for children – not everyone gets two Christmases after all! Whatever you agree allow flexibility, as no one knows when a snowstorm will hit.
What if we don’t agree?
Get some advice from a solicitor, who can explore alternative ways to resolve issues, such as arbitration or mediation. Both are voluntary and involve hiring an independent third party to either guide your discussions (in mediation) or hear both sides and make a legally binding decision (in arbitration).
This can be limited to one issue or encompass a range. For example, how are you going to approach questions about Santa, traditions the children will observe, and appropriate gifts?
When should we start talking about Christmas contact?
Start now and save stress later. The run up to Christmas is better spent with hot chocolate and festive films.
Our family solicitors Heather Snowdon, Emma Canham and Beth Courtney-Walker are happy to help and offer a free no obligation 30-minute telephone call to discuss. Contact us via 01642 36500 and ask for a member of our family law team to find out more. Alternatively, pop a message in the chat function and request a call back from a member of the team.
